


It Used To Be Me

by JugheadDreamTeam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Cheating, Cute Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Daichi is kinda a jerk, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Karasuno, Long-Suffering Sawamura Daichi, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Sawamura Daichi in Love, Sawamura Daichi's Thighs, Suffering, Sugawara is too pure for this cruel planet, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, asahi is a bean, suga-centric - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-29 23:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11451102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JugheadDreamTeam/pseuds/JugheadDreamTeam
Summary: Sugawara Koshi has no reason to believe that his life isn't perfect. He walks to school every day with a bright smile on his face, and he does things he enjoys. When he starts to notice little parts of his life changing, he begins to cover them up with excuses. Unfortunately, no one else did, and one person can only cover up so much before the perfect picture begins to shatter and fall apart.~~~“Kōshi! I'm so glad to see you, it's been so long.” He smiled big as she allowed him to step in.“Hello Yoko-San.” He went to explain what he was doing, but she cut him off.“I didn't know you were coming. Sawamura and Michimaya are already upstairs.” The teen furrowed his brows, but nodded and slipped off his shoes.“I'll head up.” He trotted towards the stairs, following the familiar path to his lovers room. He didn't bother to knock on the closed door. That, was a mistake.  The sight he was greeted with was one he never thought he would see.~~~~AKA: Daichi cheats and Suga faces the consequences.





	It Used To Be Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Suga's broken heart](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Suga%27s+broken+heart).



> Hello! 
> 
> •
> 
> You can yell at me on my Tumblr! By clicking there, I also take edit and writing requests in my ask box!
> 
> •
> 
> So I actually wrote this as a blog for the Haikyuu amino, and since this is where I post my works I wanted to also post it here. I know it is a freaking crazy miracle that this account is actually posting something from a fandom that isn't Riverdale, but this means were growing our audience to other fandoms, and maybe even making our known readers like us a little more. I'm a sucker for pain, angst and suffering, so I wrote a little story where Daichi cheats on Sugawara. Enjoy!  
> ~  
> This was originally supposed to be a fic about Oikawa because i was delving deep into suffering Oikawa/Iwazumi fic's, but after I started writing I found myself making the story about Sugawara instead. One of my favorite things about Suga is how positive he always is, so it only makes sense that I would rip the smile off of his face and shred it to pieces. Anyways.... here we go!

It was a cold and snowy day when the familiar head of silvery-grey hair started his trek to school. He was cheery, as always, and was carrying a tin of cookies. Suga had baked them when he had woken up for school, knowing that the boys on his Volleyball team would love something warm to eat after being out in the cold. He was humming a light tune to himself as he walked down the street.  
Suga arrived at the school 30 minutes before actual classes started, leaving him with plenty of time to track down all the people he wanted to see. He would go to Daichi first, since they were dating. The simple thought of his boyfriend seemed to add energy and life to Sugawara’s form. His smile was suddenly a little brighter and He moved just a little faster in order to get to Daichi’s class.  
He was a little surprised when he arrived and Sawamura wasn't already there. They meet there every morning, regardless of if Suga had cookies or no, after all they had class together. His shoulders slumped slightly, as if he was carrying physical weight all of a sudden. The silver-haired boy scanned his eyes around the room a final time but he was unsurprised when he still didn't find any trace of his lover.  
Kōshi shrugged as he turned and left the classroom, his body straightening up again. Although he was disappointed to lose his morning time with the captain, he knew it was only a simple slip up. Daichi probably forgot or slept in. It was no big deal. 

After Sugawara found the rest of the team his spirits were soaring as high as ever. The boys devoured the cookies, just as he assumed they would, all while Suga laughed and Tsukishima tutted. He enjoyed himself so much that he almost forgot about the fact that he hadn't gotten a chance to talk to his boyfriend. That moment of carefree thoughtlessness didn't last long though, as he was ushered off to his first class and thrown back into his personal orbit. On the short walk to classroom 4 he pulled out his phone, planning on texting Daichi. He knew they would likely see each other before Daichi had a chance to respond, but just in case the spiker was sick and absent, Sugawara wanted him to know he cared.

 

TO: Sawamura ♡  
[You weren't in our class this morning.. are you okay? ~Suga] 

 

He knew he no longer needed to sign his texts to the other male, but doing so gave him a sense of comfort that he couldn't exactly explain. His foot crossed the threshold of Class 4 in just enough time to see Daichi put his phone face down on his desk. He must have known Suga would walk up. The young man did just that, unwrapping his scarf and removing his gloves on the way to his seat. Suga plopped down in his chair next to Daichi with a small sigh and a large smile.

“Sorry I wasn't in here this morning. I slept in.” Daichi was quick to explain his absence, though honestly Suga didn't need much of an explanation. “I was up until 3 studying for the Physics test today, and I must have forgotten to set my alarm.” The setter moved his hand to set it softly over Sawamura’s own in a comforting manner.  
“It's fine, Daichi. Though you did miss out of some of my homemade cookies!” He laughed lightly, and Daichi’s eyes twinkled. He was moments away from responding when the teacher clapped his hands and drew their attention his way.

Later that evening, at Volleyball practice, Kōshi was sitting on the side bench, watching as Daichi walked through the steps of each attack their opponent was prone to using. The sweet teen was also listening of course, as he planned to at least play at one point on the court, but it wasn't as important for him to know. Suga took a long sip from his water bottle before standing up. The team was to practice their basic spiking, and since he was a setter, he couldn't just let Kageyama do all the work. 

“You put off such a vibe, Kageyama-kun,” Suga laughed, his eyes trained on the scowling first year as he trotted over. Suga blew out a small puff of air at the glare he received before getting into his position on the court. He was still bubbly as always.

The team filed into two lines, each taking turns as to which setter they went to. Suga was so busy setting the ball into the air that he didn't even notice the fact that Daichi had left early. He did notice however, when the drill was called to an end, and suddenly everyone expected him to tell them what to do. He should have been used to it by now, after all he was the vice-captain, but he surprise of not finding Daichi along with the wide eyes all trained on him had him floundering. 

“Uh…” Sugawara smiled and tilted his head to the left, his hand instinctively rubbing at the back of his neck in a nervous habit. “You guys did good work today, keep it up! At this rate, we’ll beat Shiratorizawa without a hassle. I know it.” He laughed and gave the team a thumbs up before dismissing them to change and leave. 

He wasn't sure why Sawamura had just left, so silently and sudden, but he didn't bother to dwell on it either. He was probably just taking a phone call for the time being. Only, after everyone had left and Suga had locked up the gym, the brunette was nowhere to be found. Suga sighed to himself and shook his head slightly, still keeping a small smile.  
“I guess I'm walking myself home.” He hummed, before doing just that.

It was still cold outside, but the snow was no longer falling as quickly as it had been that morning. The snowflakes caught on his eyelashes and hair, but melted within seconds, making it look like he had walked through a light rain rather than snow. He was in no hurry to get home, both of his parents would still be at work anyways, so he dawdled. His feet dragged and kicked through the messy puddles of dirty slush as he took the longer way home, simply reveling in the feeling of the crisp air and serene silence. He unfortunately did eventually arrive at his door, and had to go inside, out of his private headspace. He slipped off his wet shoes just inside the door and began to take off his winter layers. He knew he would have to wash them after they were dry enough to move throughout the house, but he tried to focus on other things besides his chores. Sure, Suga was one who always loved to help people, but that didn't mean he had to love doing chores. What kid his age would honestly enjoy that.  
The smiling teen quickly threw together some tea for himself before curling up in the chair by the window. He watched the snow fall for hours until he heard the familiar sounds of car doors snapping closed and his family trudging to the door. He bolted up and ran to put his clothes in the washer, doing it in just enough time for it to seem natural for him to walk through the kitchen in his socks.  
“Onii-San!” His little sister darted into the room and wrapped her arms around his legs. He smiled down at her with a small hum before greeting her.  
“Hiroka. How was School?” They had a quick conversation about their days before his mother started to get prepared for dinner. Kōshi grabbed an apron without being asked and began to cut vegetables.  
That night he laid in his bed and stared up at the plain white ceiling, going over the day in his head. He was so lost in thought that when his phone was ringing next to him he barely heard it. By the time he scrambled to answer it the phone was already on the fifth ring. 

“Hello?” His voice was chirpy, as always.

“Kōshi,” he recognized the voice immediately and his heart began to swell. It was crazy how just hearing his name could make him feel like he was full of helium. 

“Hey, Daichi.” They began to talk, talk and talk. They never stopped. Each time a conversation ended a new one popped up to take its place, and no matter what they were talking about they were both sitting with smiles on their faces. It had been a while since they had just talked, and when Suga finally fell asleep at 1:25am, Daichi couldn't find it in him to hang up the phone.

The next morning, Sugawara felt like a zombie. He was sure he had light bags under his eyes, but he still managed to keep his bright smile. He went through the day like a robot, up until lunch. It was a Wednesday, and he had almost forgotten. Every Wednesday his boyfriend would take him out to the closest cafe, leaving campus for lunch was an upperclassmen luxury. Suga visibly brightened as Daichi came over to him and before long they were seated in the small, homely cafe. Daichi seemed a little distracted, but it was expected since they had both stayed up past midnight. 

“I'm glad we tal-” he was interrupted by his own yawn. “talked last night… I missed doing that.” His boyfriend smiled slightly and nodded.

“Yeah… actually, Kōshi. I know I told you I would walk home with you for dinner tonight but I forgot that I… have plans.” The words were unexpected and seemingly random. 

“...oh? Yeah… that's fine. That's okay.” He said the words with a smile, but he was anything but happy. Sawamura was barely paying him any mind. Of course, he could blame it on the lack of sleep, but Sugawara had known Sawamura for so long, he knew that it wasn't his lack of energy inspiring him to act this way. The rest of the lunch was somewhat tense. Suga wondered if he was the only one who could feel it.  
It was almost a whole week before Suga was immersed in that atmosphere all over again. Throughout the course of those seven days he had noticed Daichi acting strange. He would disappear for periods of time and no one would know where he was. They stopped spending as much time together, and when they did see each other, the captain was always distracted. It left Suga feeling cold and lonely.  
He kept on each day though, starting with a large smile and a bubbly attitude. Kōshi just figured that something private was going on in Daichi’s home life. Either he would eventually learn about it, or his boyfriend would choose to keep it private. Either one worked for him.

When Sawamura disappeared from practice again early, Suga couldn't wait any longer. He had to know what was going on. After the silver-haired boy dismissed the rest of the team he rushed to change and was one of the first ones out. Sugawara politely asked Asahi to lock up the gym before bolting out and starting the trek to Daichi's house.

He decided to stop in the convenience store on his way and buy Sawamura some of his favorite candies. That way if he ends up learning that he was struggling at home Suga would be able to comfort the boy. He carried the bag on his arm as he knocked on the door. Seconds had barely passed before the friendly face of his boyfriend's mother was greeting him from inside.

“Kōshi! I'm so glad to see you, it's been so long.” He smiled big as she allowed him to step in. 

“Hello Yoko-San.” He went to explain what he was doing, but she cut him off.

“I didn't know you were coming. Sawamura and Michimaya are already upstairs.” The teen furrowed his brows, but nodded and slipped off his shoes.  
“I'll head up.” He trotted towards the stairs, following the familiar path to his lovers room. He didn't bother to knock on the closed door. That, was a mistake. The sight he was greeted with was one he never thought he would see. His boyfriend was straddling the girl as they were making out, and his hands were in places Suga preferred not to look. It was as if time froze around him and all he could hear was his blood rushing through his body. In a split second he was as pale as a ghost and shaking so hard that the bag of candy in his hands went crashing to the floor. Sugawara stumbled a step back, realizing he couldn't breathe.

The two scrambled off each other and Suga could see Daichi's lips moving, trying to explain but he couldn't hear a word of it. All his trust, his faith, his smiles shattered and crumbled on the ground.  
He didn't even notice he was running until he was already outside. Big wet tears were falling down his cheeks and splashing onto his clothes and the pavement. Kōshi faintly realized that he had left his shoes by the door, but he honestly couldn't care less. It felt like a 200 pound weight was crushing his chest. How could this have happened to him?  
A loud sob tore out of his chest before he was suddenly on his back, crashing to the sidewalk. He looked up through bleary eyes to see Asahi. He knew he was probably quite the sight for his old friend, pale, shaky, sobbing. Suga wiped his nose with his sleeve. 

“I-I”

“Suga-San?” Asahi was clearly worried about the younger 3rd year. Suga struggled to catch his breath enough to talk, but he eventually did, after being helped to his feet. 

“Sawa- Daichi he…” Suga sniffled “and Yui. They-” he gestured faintly with his hands “cheated.” Even just hearing himself saying the words seemed to shatter him further. Asahi pulled him into a tight hug, before offering to have him over for the night. 

While Suga usually didn't like to impose of his friends, he also didn't want to be alone. And being a bother seemed like the better option. In all honesty, he probably should have seen this coming, his boyfriend had been disappearing a lot with no excuse. Why would he think of Daichi as a cheater? He always just thought that they were soulmates. The short trek to Asahi’s house seemed to pass in a blur of tears and broken explanations. He was broken.

The next day he woke up in Asahi’s bed at 9 am, an hour after school had started. He was tired, and he felt guilty for taking the bed in his tea-soaked haze. Suga quickly gathered up his stuff and before long he was slipping out of the front door. His phone told him that he had 9+ messages, mostly from Sawamura, but he didn't want to check them. Daichi didn't deserve it. Suga made it home within 10 minutes, but he didn't remember any details of the walk. He felt empty, hollow and alone, like all his flowers, cookies and smiles were suddenly replaced with static. Over and over he asked himself: how could he?  
Kōshi missed school the next day as well, but he knew that he had to eventually return. If he missed to many days he wouldn't pass his entrance exam to his dream University in Tokyo. That Friday he dragged himself out of bed and haphazardly threw on school clothes. He didn't grab anything for his breakfast, nor for lunch, he just left the house. It was snowing outside, but he didn't want to turn back and grab the winter layers, so he started walking through the cold without even a light jacket.

As he walked into the school Sugawara looked down at his shoes, he didn't want to have to I talk to huh jj really really really really anyone, unfortunately, it didn't work.

“Sugawara-Sama!” Hinata bounded towards the unhappy boy. “You're back!”

“...Yep. I hope I didn't worry you.” His tone was bland as he shook his head.

“Are you okay?” He hadn't even noticed Kageyama behind the energetic decoy. 

“Don't worry! I'm just tired.” He didn't make eye contact. “I have to get to class.”

“But it doesn't start unti-” Sugawara was already walking away. He had a long day of confrontation and ignoring his feelings to deal with.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked that fanfic, as I worked very hard on it! My original word goal was around 1000, because it was only supposed to be a little thing, but around the 900th word I realized that I hadn't even begun to dig into the actual plot yet. I wanted to stop at several points when I just got tired of writing the plot, but I just kept going, and now we have this left. I know it ends semi-abruptly, which sucks... but i just wasnt sure i could write more. I ay add to this in the future, or make a series where i just have Haikyuu people suffering.  
> •
> 
> You can yell at me on my Tumblr! By clicking there, I also take edit and writing requests in my ask box!
> 
> ~  
> We have a Wattpad set up (Under the same username!) so please PLEASE look for us there. We also have an Instagram where we post about the cast, characters and shows! If you have an 'Haikyuu Amino' check out the Libero Local where I work and lead! We do hope to post more on this account later and eventually grow into a huge account with too many stories to count. Please show us to your friends cause we're cool and would appreciate reads. ~Kai


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